Its been a while since ive written on here and with my sons fourth birthday looming and the energy of 2012, the last two weeks i have been somewhat reflective on the events and lessons of the last four years.

If Michael has taught me anything , its the fact that life is too short and that as the days seem to go quicker and the years appear to be shorter , the more and more I realise that  I owe it to my precious boy to honour my life and the little time I have here .

Something has come over me and I have completely realised that its time to be true to myself and to be true to who I am an what I want from life.

I think we spend so much of our lives trying to please , trying to be something that we are not , for the sake of people liking you and perhaps for the sake of 'peace' . But when you are not at peace in side , when your inner world is in complete turmoil , how do you continue to justify living a life that is not real ....

Life is too short to fight these inner battles.

I owe it to me , Michael and my beautiful family to be true to myself and although I am about to make a decision yet again that has not been made lightly , I have survived having to make the toughest decision a parent would have to make . So this decision in comparison to having to say good bye to my beautiful boy is really insignificant.

So I have decided to be done with the drama .Done with not being me. Done with trying to please others at the expense of myself respect and moving forward from here , i will find peace for being me.

2012 is the end ..Not the end of the world but the end of life as I know it ! The end of the games , drama and toxic people who create it . Time to be free .

'Michaels Star'

This year for Michael's 3rd birthday I decided to Name a star in his memory .We named it 'Michaels Star'. I thought it was fitting and a reminder that michael is always shining down on us . The most amazing thing was that when I recieved the co-ordinates of this star , the constellation in resides in is in the shape of the letter 'M'. How amazing !

Michael has given me so much ..This is the least I can do for him . I had a friend say to me the other day that its great that we celebrate Michaels birthday. I really feel this goes without saying . I would not let my other childrens birthday go by without acknowledging their special day and I feel Michael deserves the same treatment/ acknowledgment . Its just something any mother would do for any of their children ..Living or in the spirit world.

I was overwhelmed and inundated with so many messages and gifts for Michaels Birthday this year and for that I thank everyone . For me all this is just my way of feeling so close to him and on some strange way I feel that even though he never lived a day on this earth he has touched so many people in so many different ways ! He makes me sooo proud .

You know howthey say that out of something so bad ...something good will always shine through well I can say in my instanse that whilst loosing Michaels was the most difficult epxerience I have ever had to face in my life I can honestly say that out of this I have been given so much . And one of the main things is all the amazing friends that I have made through out this journey. Mothers that have epxerienced the exact same event. Mothers ..angels on this earth that through there own hardships have guided me , supported me and got me through this experience and we have all come out the other end as special friends . A bond not willingly formed but none the less a blessing.

I recieved a special parcel for Michaels friends from a special friend in perth ..Keels ..

Thank you so much for always acknowledging and remebering Michael . You thoughts, words and gifts are always so touching. You are truely and angel on this earth and I know I have made a friend for life

To my other friends , Ness , Anna-Karen, Shelly ,Carly , Jen... and Many more that I would not have made had I not had this journey.. Thank you xxx

And of course thank you to all my family and friends that have been so supportive from day one . Thank you also for remembering and acknowledging Michael . It means so much

Kristina's Gift to Michael ! Thank you again sweet girl