Been very busy lately preparing for Evangeline's Christening . It was a day that meant a lot to me ..to be able to organise this for her was so special . I didn't get to do this for Michael so I think I tried to make it all the more special for Eva .
One time a medium who i see told me that Evangeline will see Michael as a butterfly ..So symbolic I thought ..A Butterfly symbolising hope for the future ..Displaying that after something so pleasant in many ways comes something so beautiful. I gift from heaven ..perfect in every way .
So with this the theme of Evangeline's Christening was butterflies ..in honour of her brother ..Her angel brother who from his story , his loss of life came his little sister . Our beautiful angel Evangeline.
The week leading up to the Christening was a little hectic but thankfully her day was so magical. She looked like a little princess in her gown her godparents bought for her and everything went without a glitch. Everyone had a lovely time and you could tell that everyone was so happy for us and the feeling of love and gratitude we got from our guest was amazing .
Mothers day then followed which didnt seem to be any less painful then the other years...even though this would be my third without Michael. I could tell some people just didn't get why I felt so upset ..given that I have Evangeline here with me this year...but as I tried to explain..I gave birth to four children and one is forever not going to celebrate that day with me ..and whilst he plays such a big part in our family and there is not a day that goes bye that he does not enter my head ...I struggle knowing how to be a mum to an angel and sometimes feel guilty that i am not doing enough or that I have not thought of him enough that day ...
I know it will get easier with time but for the moment I really don't look forward to mothers day. But having said that the boys together with Eva made me feel so lucky and special on the day and for that i am grateful.
I love her christening dress. she looks gorgeous! I know what you mean about mothers day. This was my first with Saoirse and my second without Tadgh, its a bitter sweet day.
ReplyDeleteYep people automatically assume because its 2 years on that Im ok, and they dare not even mention his name. I have family that dont even remember the day he went to heaven. Life goes on for everyone else.
I think you are doing more than enough of honouring him just having him in your thoughts would be just what he would want, to always be remembered. I do little things, light a candle every Thursday for him just a little ritual I have.
Keels
xx
I think you do a great deal to remember Michael and to keep his memory alive...for instance this blog - without it, I may never have known Michael existed xxx
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