Wednesday, February 4, 2015

That Moment 7 years ago

You know those moments in your life where everything just stands still. Where everything is surreal. The world is the same old world. The hustle and bussle still exist, surrounding you like a tornado filled with debris.  You are in there but not one with the chaos because you are for once in your life, still.

You know, that this very moment your reality and everything that exist will fundamentally change and these feelings and emotions, this mindset,  will never exist as it is.
You know in your heart of hearts that in this moment, you will be defined. Your purpose and a new kind of reality will be revealed. You know you will never be the same person and as much as it hurts like hell and as much as you feel as though your soul is being torn to shreds, you know that you will come out of this stronger, wiser and at some point completely whole.

This moment happened 7 years ago. The moment I gave birth to you, everything changed. Will I ever want to go back to the moment before that moment where everything changed? Never! Why? Because without that moment, I would not have given birth to you. I would not have held you. I would not have captured the image of your precious face. I would not have smelt your transparent skin and played with your little fingers. I would not have been skinned completely bare,with my soul for all to see. For my soul to grow and lead me to this moment. This moment, for which I am eternally grateful for. Grateful for all that you have given me and for allowing me to know that I was stronger than I had ever imagined. You gave me that gift. You are my gift and I will love you forever. Happy birthday my sweet boy Michael. I now know in this moment, I did not loose you. In that moment, I found me and for that I honour you. For that, I thank you.

I carried you every second of your life and I will love you every second of mine" Mum xo