Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Michaels First Heavenly Birthday

Well if you asked me how I was yesterday I would have said that I didn't think I could get through today but surprisingly we had a lovely day . I wanted to think of today as more of a celebration to honour such a special boy . I think this got me through

We woke up and spent the morning together as a family . Giovanni stayed home from school today and Vince also did not go to work. We made our way to the cemetery at about 10am , together with my mum.

When we got there and work men were around fixing up the turf on some other children's graves .I was a little disappointed as I really hoped for some quiet time with my boys but we persevered and tidyed up his grave and the had a cake and candle for him which the boys enjoyed blowing out . We sang "Happy Birthday" to our precious baby . We then took some photos and spent some time with Michael. The angels answered my prays because in the meantime the workmen disappeared .

The boys were a little sad. Nikki said to me " Mummy I wish Michael was home with us and you could feed him and change his nappy and we could pick him up" and Giovanni said "Mummy I wish he was coming home with us" . The grief at time is so difficult to deal but watching your babies grieve their little brother can be so heartbreaking . I wish sometimes I could take that pain away from them . They know "loss" at such a young age . Sometimes it just breaks my heart.

Michael we love you so Much . Hope you had a wonderful celebration in heaven with your Nonnu and Nonna Panuccio and dear friends Sharene and Luke ....I know you are in a special place and taken care of.