Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy third birthday to my beautiful baby boy!

I Really cant believe that my baby was born 3 years ago. It only feels like yesterday that I was blessed to have those few precious hours where I got to hold his still lifeless body in my arms. I remember it like yesterday but yet so much has happened since that event . It is an event . A turning point in ones life that changes you forever and ever . You are never the same person after you experience such an event and for the most part most people (and I say most) take these experiences and become better people out of it . They gain strength and empathy for others and look at the world from almost a different pair of eyes . I guess these events alter your soul and well the eyes are the window to your soul so it makes sense that your perception of life is changed forever.

Michael did just that for me. He changed the way I saw things , He made me appreciate those that are dear to me even more than i did before and he taught me about me ! I learned so much about my self the first 12 mths and found an inner strength that i didn't know I had and for that his birthday will always be remember.



this one got stuck in a tree before eventually flying off !

I decided to mark his birthday this year by naming a star after my precious boy ! I can wait ti receive the co-ordinates . I explained to Michael's brothers that now Michael will always be shining down on them and all they would have to do is look at the stars. Eva , Vince and I also made the trip to the cemetery and at nite the boys made a cake for him and we release some balloons for him.

Its a special day but for a mother I can honestly say it hasn't gotten easier. It really hit home today that I was going to the cemetery to visit my boy on his birthday! It just felt so wrong not right and I really felt this overwhelming anger at the fact that I had to go there to be with him. NO parent should have to go to the cemetery to be with their child ! Its not meant to work that way and just felt so wrong. But this is life and this is my story ! And I know logically he is not there as I felt his presence around me all day!

I just wish ..just for one moment , one split second that my family could be together ! I guess that is every mothers wish to have her children with her . And I guess at some point it will happen . Not right now but we we all will be together one day surrounded by those that love us .

Until then my precious boy! I will love you forever. You are a part of me that I had to let go way too soon . I know that that bond will never be broken and in time things will be as they should be . Happy 3rd birthday cheeky boy! I love you xxxx Mummy

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  1. Absolutely beautiful! Your posts always make me're right in saying it's not right to be visiting your child at a cemetary :(
    But some little souls are just too beautiful for this world and God calls them straight home... Happy Birthday Michael! You are so lucky to be loved by so many, who continue to keep your memory alive xxx

  2. Oh rita, you brought tears to my eyes. I LOVE the cake and everything about the way you spent you day. He would be so proud of you. Love you girl!! I sent you a little bit of the Childrens beach....make sure you sprinkle some on his grave xx