The blessing of a precious Godson

When our friends Sandra and Limbert came over in early Jan the last thing we expected was that they were to ask us to be their beautiful sons godparents. So you can imagine how surprised we were . We were so happy and so excited and couldn't wait till the day.

So Saturday was the day and we had such a wonderful day. I got to dress the special man in his wonderful suit and Vince got to hold Jason for most part of the day. He was a little restless during the ceremony being a big boy all he wanted to do was walk around ,So strong godfather Vince had a battle on his hands to keep him still for the blessing but he managed and as soon as Jason was set free he ran off and played happily.

Afterwards Sandra organised a wonderful dinner were we had a great time . It was such a lovely day all round. We were welcomed into the family by everyone and were initiated by the tradtional Bolivian dance. Not a good thing to look at considering both Vince and I have two left feet but enjoyable none the less.

Thank you Jason for allowing us this honour to be your godparents. I hope we can live up to this responsibility and want you to know that we are always here no matter what.

Happy Birthday Vince

Yesterday we celebrated Vince's 33rd birthday. He didn't get to relax entirely cause he still had to take Giovanni to soccer but then we went out for a special lunch a hurricanes where he feasted on a very LARGE Rack of ribs . So you can imagine how large it was if Vinnie struggled to eat it ..I didn't get a photo and really regret it now cause not only was he eating this massive plate of ribs but he also had to wear a bib ....It was so funny

Anyhow Hope he had a wonder birthday. I really want to take this opportunity to again thank my beautiful husband with the strength of a lion but a heart of gold from the bottom of my heart for being my husband, always supporting me and working so hard and putting me and the children first always. I know life has been hard my love but I really hope you find Joy in this beautiful family we have together . I m so grateful that we have you and that we are always your priority. I could not have made it through the last 12 mths without you...

So Happy Birthday my precious man from Me! and your three angels Giovanni, Nicholas and Michael. WE ALL LOVE YOU.

Its Ok to be Ok

Well a year on I am having more OK days than not . I think the thoughts of trying for another child has me looking forward to the future. That's what a child is . The future. Which is why loosing a baby is so hard. It loosing your hopes , your dreams , the plans you made for that child and the idea of what you thought your family would be . But I need to allow my self these OK days and not feel bad. God nows my family and I deserve it.

I do feel a female energy around me so not sure if this is child waiting to come through but I am so excited I almost want it yesterday.

Sometimes I do feel a little guilty that I am thinking of another baby. Michael will forever be my third child and no-one will ever replace that. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish my son was here with me. But the thoughts of the future and perhaps another precious baby seem to soften the harsh reality that my baby boy will not be in my arms in this lifetime.

I guess its hope. Hope that all will be fine and despite this hole in my heart that I have now come to except will never heal....I do see some light.

The emotions of TTC are so intense . Very anxious yet very excited as I would expect the subsequent pregnancy to be. But I can do this . I can do this for me , for Michael and for my family.